:D It's halloween night and I got to hand out candy to very cute little kiddos and I got to watch the matrix reloaded again just days before it is scheduled to come out and I got ot hang out with some of my favorite people in the entire world! What a night! Now I go back to my room take my shot and spend the rest of the evening trying to fix my computer. So overall this night has been great!! :D Tommorrow will be spent studying for the next thermodynamics test coming up on Tuesday....blech indeed. However with this much time to study on material that is this easy. I shouldn't have any problems getting the A that I need and with that A getting the sunroof fixed on my car. So this weekend is shaping up to be quite spectacular!! Well for everyone out there in reading my blog land! Happy Halloween go do something that glorifies God tonight and may God bless you and give you a wonderful weekend!! Coming to you from the sugar hyped side of the trick or treat door - Ferris :D 8)
:( I'm tired and I had a long day. SO if any of you out there know me beyond my good days then you know exactly what kind of mood I'm in.....that's right! FOUL! So unfortunately for anyone reading this I'm going to whine, moan, bitch, cry, lay out, complain and basically get everything I can think of off of my chest and hopefully go to bed a little more relaxed. I'll start with the physical issues. One my computer is broken and not wanting to be fixed, my roomate and I between us are quite possibly the best two people to bring your computer too if it is broken and niether of us is having any luck. I'm beginning to think that it either is a virus the likes of which I have never seen before or a really nasty hardware conflict...in which case no matter what i do I will not be able to fix it, which means no more IM, no more email (except in the computer lab downstairs) no more writing assignments and no more online honework for Thermo. Number two on the physical probs, my two ingrown toenails are not getting any better and I hate them both. The chemotherapy is making my healing go by slowly and since just walking around day to day injures them as much as I can fix by sleeping I'm going to be stuck with these for at least 6 more weeks. On to emotional, once again as it is getting later and since I am already exhausted I will be griping about things that I already know the answers to so unless you ahve something new and original to add to the usual "God has a time" or "You just haven't met her yet" don't comment. I ahve given away the point of my rant, but not completely. Yes once again I'm am depressed about not having one ever had a girlfriend and two not having any potentials at all. :cry: I'm tired of this I'm tired of seeing happy couples sharing struggles or secret words I'm tired of always feeling like an outsider looking in I'm tired of waiting because my patience grows short when I get tired. For some reason I've also been feeling isolated at IV and I can't quite figure out why, maybe its my fault but I think that it is more my situations that are making me not want to talk for fear of giving away things that I do not wnat to disscuss ortlak about usually when I'm with small group people. I feel like I've drifted away from several people. Another part of the whole I'm tired of seeing allthese people get together and be happy thing is the fact that I bring my best friend from home up here this year, jsut after a nasty and extremely painful breakup from his fiance' (who was cheating on him) and within now 9 weeks of his arrival he already ahs a girlfriend. To make matters worse in the 9 weeks since he has been here he has gotten to know her better than I do and I've known her for approaching a year and half. I guess I could chalk up the feelings on that situation as acute jealousy. He shows up for once with something worse than I had realtionship wise and withina very short amount of time equals and then surpasses me. Don't get me wrong...I'm very happy for the two of them they fit very well and as much as I think they may be going to fast I can see good things on the horizon for both of them. I'm also feeling isolated from several of my friends who do not live anywherre near me. My friends from YFN who are particularly dear to me including the three girls who are the only members of the "if offered would marry immeadiately" I know its not going to happen but these three girls are among the most precious people in my life (Becca,Shannon,Erica). if anything ever did happen to them someone had better start force feeding me encouragement because I would be inconsolable for months. Becca is busy and getting ready to move to Arizona to be with her boyfriend/fiance/hasn't proposed but like it matters friend who is one of my better guy friends and a person that I am proud to know and proud to have with Becca. Erica is busy with philosophy and trying to make ends meet at college in Minnesota(apologies if its in wisconsin) and Shannon has jsut recently moved and I can't seem to find anyone who has her new phone number and I'm starting to get desperate. Well I guess thats enough about emotions, to sum up : I know I'm not ready for "the one" but I'm getting very lonely due to circumstances and some of my own problems.....ps to previous it is getting very close to the one year anniversery of a particularly hard time regarding a relationship that never should have been and that I poured way to much of myself into....it may be that a lot of these feelings are just my brain dreading the approaching date which I do not plan to observe or even care about. Finally spiritually...I'm actually doing okay on this one. The Urbana question has worked itself out after a fashion. There is no way I could possibly afford to go or the reprecussions from my fathers misguided view of missions. So I am taking that as a sign from God and I'm going to honor my fathers wishes, its hard because I was really looking forward to some fellowship time with some people from IV that are going, but I will survive....I endure. Now my current challenge is how to tell my father in a respectful way that while I do not agree with his missions views at all, I am going to respect his decision without complaint. God is really working on my heart and I am once again force feeding myself the Word. I'm starting to see the beginnings of the hunger that I had towards the beginning of this year. Until then I'm still praying and trying to keep the passion that was rekindled after a style at Pathways. I'm dealing with some heavy issues and I'm more than pretty sure that I am under demonic attack and surveillance while in classes. And possibly while I am not in classes. While that may sound strange to some of you I assure you that I am niether crazy nor imagining things. Americans put too much skepticism on things of the spiritual realm...we are too smart for such nonsense like the "Devil" and "demons" and "angels". Its funny because the only people that it hurts when we stop believeing that there is war going on that we can't see is ourselves and the billions of pre-Christians all around us. For the Christians who read this, open your eyes and pray agains tthe "powers and principalities" of this world on your campus in your dorms. There is a real battle going on and you are providing the cover fire. Bind the spirit of humanism who makes God seem like a childrens fairy tale. Bind the spirit of Islam who traps people in a cycle of never ending fear and rejection. Bind spirits of deception who roam the halls of the philosophy, science and psychology buildings, warping brilliant minds into mindless fountains of godless sewage. There is a war going on, you are the fighters, ACT LIKE IT! Anyways after that tirade I'm positive that I'm on closer to the right track than I thought because the devil doesn't bother Christians who aren't getting in the way. It is when you stand up and start taking a stand for truth and the Word that he starts harrassing. If you are a Christian and everything is going peachy-keen maybe you'd better take a look at what you are doing and see if maybe you've stepped back from the front lines a little too far. Coming to you from the greatly encouraged and feeling much better side of encouragement 8) - Ferris (and if I get only comments on the first half of this blog I will be very peeved) :wink: 8) :!:
Last night was again a new minor tragedy in what is becoming a daily occurence. I tried to interact with the person mentioned a few blogs ago as hating me, but maybe not even knowing it. However this was a dreadful failure on my part, said individual acted as one might expect; polite and cordial, but without and real emotion behind like you might expect to find at a business meeting between competitors. Here is where I failed, when I saw this for lack of a better term "fake" friendliness instead of jsut continuing as if it was indeed real I allowed it to get to me. I got insulted by the plasticness of the response. So I didn't attempt to talk, didn't attempt to be friendly, didn't attempt to do much of anything to even show that I acknowledged their prescence. So after quite a while of this I just left, I knew I had screwed up another chacne and thats bad because in a situation like this you never know how many chance you might be given. So hopefully I'll have more chances and maybe on of these times these minor tragedies will turn into a minor success. Now judging from the content of my last 4-5 blogs, maybe last 6 you may assume that I'm some sort of depressing loser who spends his timie thinking of fantastic reasons and imaginary enemies, your wrong. I'm not depressed unless I get very tired and then everything seems grey to me rather than colored, but aside from mornings after all-nighters I'm usually extremely optimistic. I'm usually optimistic to a fault, but for some reason I tend to oscillate I spend all of my thinking time optimistic and happy and ready to assume the best about everyone, but because I have a very pragmatic and realistic evaluation of things I always plan for the worst case scenario. Ask anyone who has ever seen the inside of my car's trunk and you will understand. I am prepared for the worst case scenario regardless of when or what or where it is. Anyways, what you all get when you read my blog is more or less the planning stages inside my head, I use this writing as a forum to bounce my ideas off of myself, to bounce situations off of cold reason to give myself a better chance of making the right decision. And it also gives me a pretty good idea of what I need to pray about in my own life as well as what to pray about for the situations and people around me. Pragmatist me? Realist me? Coming to you from the land of honest politicians, smoothly functioning bueracracy, perpetual energy machines, frictionless planes and no wind resistance - Ferris :D
I've been trying since last night to get my computer back up and running, which is funny because it stayed on just long enough for me to talk to some friends and post my blog, but when I tried to eliminate some spyware it died and hasn't started correctly since. Oh well thank heavens for computer labs in your building. Because once again the professor of my Analytic chemistry class spent his entire period talking about nothing, I spent the entire class working on a couple of big ideas I have for the future of transportation and space technology, but I won't disclose them here because they're to good a set of ideas....SOMEONE MIGHT STEAL THEM!!! So any how I'm waiting for afriend to call me so I can run her to get some auto parts and then I guess I'll spend the rest of the day trying to fix my computer and trying to do thermodynamics homework and maybe i can find a physics book with the formulas that I need to continue working on one of my ideas, maybe i can get some of my airplane project done. Oh and if anyone has a ticket to the OU game the weekend before thanksgiving break that they aren't going to use I need to find one for my little brother he's coming up here that weekend and for some strange reason the athletic office is all sold out...three weeks before the game, at a college where I can count on one hand the number of sold out games in the last three years....somethings fishy, but I really really need a ticket for him. It would like break his heart to not get to go to the game. Well anyways I'm gonna get off the comp now and go clean my room up a little so the cleaning lady doesn't have an impossible job today. Coming to you from the not quite as speechless as I first thought side of existence - Ferris
Since I last heard about it last fall before I even was in Intervaristy I've kinda wanted to go to Urbana. I didn't really pray about it or even ask God about it after Justin(my cousin) died this summer I just wrote it off and assumed that I would go to my grandparents that week and be with family and try and help everyone cope, but when I went to Pathways this weekend I really felt something pulling at my heart when they talked about Urbana. I am never one to say "I heard God tell me..." or "God has told me that I need to..." I find it presumptuous at best almost blasphemous, not that I don't think he speaks to people I jsut don't have any experience with God audibly telling me to do something I have feelings that I can't explain to do something, but unless I pray about it and feel like I haven't been told no then I go with it. Anyways I felt very strongly that I should reconsider, so I talked with my Staff worker about it and told her my original reasons for giving up on going and how I was feeling now. She suggested I pray about it, talk to my parents and jsut see what happens. Well the registration deadline is saturday and I called my parents tonight to talk to them about it. Well mom was okay with it, she felt that going to see family was a good thing but that if I felt I should go I should go...until she heard how much it cost and then she said I should talk to dad. My dad declared that he was more or less dissapointed in me even thinking about not working and going to a retreat. He said that it was first that I had no money, secondly that I would lose the money I would gain by working that time and thirdly that he felt that missionaries should always be like Paul and support themselves. He then said that if I do go I can expect no help from him or mom during the spring semester because they would be supporting my vacation essentially. Needless to say, I'm hurt shocked and confused. I called expecting to get support and maybe even the hundred dollar registration fee, and instead I was told that if I do go not only will I pay the 700 dollars to go to Urbana, but I will also have to find about 2500 dollars for what my parents still give me during school, either through medecine for my arthritis, helping me out when scholarships run low and diesel money. I'm not angry with my dad, I'm jsut hurt and confused...I mean its not the first time we've differed on doctrine or practice of Christianity. I mean he's arminian and I'm calvinist.....but I never thought that he would threaten something so drastic. Now I'm even questioning whether or not Urbana is even worth it...I mean what is it? Everyone says they come away with some great new understanding of God's Will for the worls, but I already have a pretty good grasp of that....a lot better than most people around me. But then again I know that there is a passion that is aroused in me when it comes to going to camps and retreats when I can jsut get time where in a different setting I can talk to God and he can tlak to me and I crave that sense of prescence. Maybe I should cancel going to Urbana and instead spend the time praying that I can always have that constant knowledge and feeling that God is right here with me. I don't know....anyways for those of you who read this and do PRAY very hard for me for the next few days. Jehovah Jireh. The Lord is my provider and in him do I place my trust. Coming from the broken down and so close to tears side of a bad conversation - Ferris
:shock: There is something inately terrifying aobut seeing behind someone's wall into their true personality. Things you see frighten, they hurt, they wound. Its definitely a sobering experience, now that I think back on my life I realize that it has happened more than once. Right after it happened I think that I was in shock for a few minutes, because for a few seconds I was transported back to my Junior High Days when I last was able to easily see through peoples false fronts to how they really felt. Maybe I lost the ability because of the eternal optimism I picked up in high school. Maybe by the grace of God I lost it. Seeing how someone truly feels about you is enough sometimes to never want to hang around them again, and it makes forgiveness very hard. In fact as I remember it, forgiveness was accomplished by forcing myself to hang out with them until I could talk to them without malice or sarcasm in my voice, until I could face them without thinking of how many different ways I could hurt them. Its gonna take that now as well unfortunately. Only once have I seen into someones thoughts and realized that what they thought of me was exactly what they had always said they did. I strive to be more like him everyday that I get up and he helps me get there step by step. I jsut can't get over it tonight...its so shocking...even when you knew what you were expecting to find behind it, but to see a form of naked hatred, makes me shudder. It almost wants to make me cry. One of the deepest things in my psyche is to make people happy and to keep out of true trouble. So to see that someone not only was not happy with me but also hated me for my efforts....its a mental hurricane trying to keep myself stable and calm is a constant effort. :cry: Listen to me I sound like a freakin Goth(no offense to Goths but the world is not all that bad, there is hope talk to Jesus and get to know him). So for the conclusion of tonights episode I will quote Monty Python: "On second thought lets not go to Camelot....tis a silly place." Coming to you sans white paint or black clothes, just my favorite pair of running shorts :wink: - Ferris
Everyone always asks if you can ever jsut be whelmed. I say you can. I have at est tommorrow at 7:30 am. I leave for a reatreat at 1:15-1:30. I have a monster headache. I still haven't studied for the test. Its already 30 minutes until my bedtime. But Large group tonight was excellent and the slide show that I worked so hard on was not used except for a few sections of video. One Guy's was a blast. I got to know one of our new fellowship members a little better. Except for her major she's a lot like me....well wait now that I think about it....we're ridiculously different....disreagrd my entire previous statement...I'm an idiot. I have my honors advising appointment on monday and I have to have a tenative schedule before I go in, and I have an essay about a place on the Texas Tech campus due on Tuesday that I was supposed to write today but didn't. So for all of that however I am not feeling overwhelmed and I'm definitely not feeling underwhelmed.....so therefore I am simply whelmed. So as an added bonus I think that once every few blogs I'll put one of these up....Yes Robin I know that its cheezy and stupid, but I wanna try it....maybe someone will leave a comment or something....So.....man....this a little embarassing, but here goes....yes...its coming up.....total time that Ferris has gone without EVER having kissed a girl(not related)....is........~7442 days 22 hours 46 minutes and 13 seconds......Bah! I dare anyone to beat that! COming to you from the very tired side of bedtime - Ferris :D God Bless you all and have a great weekend!
FalconTch: I can't tell if I feel worse or better now.... Laura4985: why? Laura4985: I'm sorry Laura4985: I don't understand what's up sweetie? FalconTch: I jsut let loose about a 20 minute rant at...no wait....to.....no wait at...a friend FalconTch: it was a little of both Laura4985: huh? Laura4985: you ranted and raved at a friend Laura4985: ? FalconTch: I had called her one of the cutest girls I knew and she said that I was saying thigns that were blatantly untrue....which is in and of itself blatantly untrue Laura4985: I see Laura4985: which friend was this? FalconTch: [b]*********[/b]...I don't think you know her FalconTch: I ranted aobut how I hate modern advertising for making this unreachable female body the goal FalconTch: and ranted and ranted FalconTch: because I really am sick and tired of girls telling me that they aren't cute or beautiful Laura4985: oh....how cool matthew Laura4985: what a nice guy you are FalconTch: but she's wanting to major in marketing Laura4985: i hope she thought so FalconTch: which I don't like either..... Laura4985: oh I see Laura4985: hope you didn't tell her that Laura4985: I'm sorry girls are so blind FalconTch: and she was saying that it wasn't all that marketing did was the advertising part....so I asked her to explain what exactly else a marketing person did...and she responded that it took several classes to understand that....so I told her the truth anything that say "oh well...you have to take more classes to understand what we do" smacks of bullshit.... Laura4985: I have to hear completment repeatedly from Josh before I believe him FalconTch: I know thats the sort of thing I hate.....but anyways.... Laura4985: does she hate you now? FalconTch: no...I'm jsut a little upset with myself for telling her that...its how I really feel...but its what she's on track to do....but when she talks aobut it there isn't any passion in her voice...its like she jsut kinda signed up for something and now she'll be doing it the rest of her life...it makes me sad to see her throw it away in a field so full of deception and foolishness.....it makes me mad at her...at the system FalconTch: but she's bitten into the whole "pop culture" thing FalconTch: and that makes me sad Laura4985: yea....sounds like it Laura4985: I'm sorry matthew Laura4985: that's tough Laura4985: I hope you feel better about it Laura4985: people make their own choices Laura4985: all you can do is love them regardless Laura4985: I think you were fine Laura4985: so don't worry about it anymore Laura4985: what Laura4985: s Laura4985: done is done FalconTch: I don't know what to do...if I really hit it hard I'll break her...either make her really really mad at me or destroy what motvation she has and she'll cry, but I can't even recommend another field or anything....she just isn't smart enough....I'm at an impasse.....maybe I should give up on ever offering anyone advice....its too easy to screw up....
Allright guys this is my biological little sister....no blog like my adopted little sister RobinnotBatman....anyways she's gotten a whole lot cooler in the last few months now that she's at college. I love her a lot and I'm very proud of her. And as a disclaimer if anyone harrasses her at her IM I will hunt you down and beat you until you eat through a straw. I am not kidding, and I will not hesistate....my family is untouchable ground....beat on me all you wnat, touch my sisters, brother, mother or father or grandparents, or aunts or uncles or cousins and I come for blood....sounds disturbingly violent I know, but I am a male and I ahve laid out my territory. For the unnamed one "*********" I'm sure you know who you are but no one else does unless you tell them. I won't apologize for speaking the truth of what's on my mind but I will apologize if it hurts, but you know where to reach me. Sometimes what you can't say to a persons face needs to be said behind their back when you know they are listening. It makes it easier for the ugly truth to come into the open and show itself for what it is.....then it can be dealt with. I'm sorry that I didn't have the balls to tell it to you to your face. Coming from the nervous, but calm...the worried, but at peace.....the angry, but sorry.....the relieved, but unsure....the happy, but sad.....coming from the land of indecision and unreadiness - Ferris
I love wednsday's after class at 8 I have nothing at all. I can kick back until late evening and then do my thermo homework and hit the bed. Its so great. To be able to just sit back and relax and not worry about being anywhere or doing anything or being at anyones beck and call. Just some "ferris-time". Heh that sounds like a movie effect. The usage of ferris-time in the latest sciencefiction movie was an unabashed success the movie has grossed over 300 million so far and shows no signs of slowing down. Ferris-time is the next big thing for movie special effects! Coming Soon to a Theater near you! Okay that was pretty random, but I had fun doing it. I finished Frank Herbert's Dune for the 7th time today. I love that book....and once again I have resolved to practice the Bene-Gesserit disciplines of mind and body control...it just always seems like such a good idea and there is always the chance that I might be the Kwisatch Haderach. Heh....that'd be so freakin cool....Anyways...time to get the thermo homework done and then maybe watch a little Star Trek and then hit the bed. Whadda say? Sound good? Coming from a finally relaxed state of being - Ferris
For the record I don't even believe in Purgatory. You either are in or you're out. And I don't even believe in levels of hell. Everybody gets the same....an eternity in a lake of fire seperated forever from God. So repent and believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved. Anywhoo I thought this was funny cause I've read parts of Dante and its pretty nutty stuff in places. So enjoy take the test....its kinda more a how corrupted are you than where you'll end up test. Coming from purgatory apparently...? - Ferris :D
W00T!!!! I came back from home with a vengance. I had a great trip in my new car. I got back alte and was ridiculously sleepy all of yesterday, but today kicked ass. I managed to finish the Thermo homework I had avoided and the lesson was ridiculously easy. Then I went and took the second test in Biochem. It took me thirty minutes flat out and I got an 88 which while not the A I hoped for was better than the 80 I got last time and since it was so easy and the three questions I missed I only missed one due to stupidity so its all good. The disscussion in my seminar class was horrendously boring but I got to use a bad pun and I might start trying to get everyone moaning at my jokes this semester. Then I got to walk with the cute lawyers daughter I mentioned in one of the earlier blogs. She's pretty cute, but for my little sisters laura's sake she's a tri-delt. BUT I don't know that aobut her so while I'll be cautious about it I will always assume the best until I know better....curse my ever-present optimism. Anyways I got back and relaxed by playing some Civ3 and since I last played I've gotten better and after 3 hours went down to dinner and had a very satifying Jalepeno sausage sandwhich...good stuff. And I made first contact with one of the German exchange students....internationals are so cool....and the great thing is is that for as cool as I think they are....they think that I'm even cooler for trying to talk to them either in English or my horrible attempts at German. So anyways after tommorrows make up thermo exam I should be sitting pretty and so although I'm still tired I feel like a million bucks right now and I want to go do something like.....uhh....study or pound someone in video games....or....uhh.....or listen to some loud music or read or exercise or run to the Panama canal...or swim to Tahiti.....uhh....maybe I should cut back on the sugar and run a mile or two to try and calm down. Coming from the hyped up "I kick ass" side of....well...me :D - Ferris
Allright! I get to go home for the weekend. I get to have a rather adorable young lady ride with me to dallas. I get to pick up my snazzy new used car. I get to go to my little brothers birthday party. I get to finish 4 lessons of Texas History :x I get to be away from any sort of a decent internet connection until Sunday. Guess what that means? Yes Yes....NO UPDATES UNTIL SUNDAY :oops: :cry: :( Well for now this is all I can offer I promise I'll get back into the swing of things when things calm down a bit...I'm jsut hitting the second round of tests this semester so I'm kinda psuedo-focused. So for all my readers out there (all three of you). God bless and have a great weekend!! Coming from the excited and very tired side of a weekend trip - Ferris!! :D I love road trips!!
Well I got two of my things done and came back and fell sound asleep for 2 hours. I took my Thermo Test felt sure I bombed it completely and ended up making a 76% which still sucks but not as much suckage as say a 20%. So that was not very good but it was decent. And then I wrote that disscussion paper for my seminar class. I gave it very well I thought I didn't stutter or faulter and the words that came out of my mouth were coherent and rang of truth. I was truly blessed because I should've been sputtering and screwing up every 30 seconds. Instead "Matt's" (my real name) idea came up in conversation for the rest of the class. So I did good. I defended the idea of Creation and silenced 4 critics for the time being and maybe brought some questions to their minds. So to God be the Glory cause it was all him. Anyways I also still have the IV movie clip project and the TX history to do this week and a friend still needs me to help her fix her car. So that coupled with the idea of leaving at 1:00 friday means that Ferris is gonna be one busy bee. So I got togo and get started on all this. Coming to you from the "OH MY GOD HOW AM I GONNA GET ALL OF THIS DONE" side of my mind - Ferris :D :shock:
Allright so I made it through yesterday without getting near enough stuff done. And today I've gotten a pretty good amount done, but now within the next hour and a half I'm supposed to go out to dinner at olive garden, game and still finish all that I said last night was still not done. So now the question is if I go to dinner when do I leave. If I go game how long do I game. If I come back and study how long do I come back and study for. If I get any sleep when should I quit and go to bed? So I'm a story in cdonfusion right now, I'll update you on how things went tommorrow while I study for thermodynamics. Coming from the who?wha? what the heck is going on? side of my life - Ferris
Okay I apologize for not posting yesterday and for posting so late today, but I've been pretty busy. Friday I spent doing prepeartory stuff for this weekend and didn't succed very well. I got almost nothing nothing....much like today although I did get the reading for one lesson out of foour done I still ahven't done the work or started the readings for the other three lessons. I'm also working on a project for Intervarisyt thats driving me nuts because I still don't know if its even going to be used, but I have to do it anyways because if I wait until I know for sure I won't have enough time to finish it. But if it turns out we can't get a computer projector then I wasted all the time I've spent working on it. Also I ahve this paper to write for that cretive pularalism class and its gotta be a kind of outline of what I want to tlakn about and its gonna be over the creation issue and thats a very emotional subject and I have to pour a whole lot of myself into the paper to get the point across correctly. I also have a thermodynamics test tuesday morning and I have to do about 50 problems to study for it. SO I am overwhelemd to the point of tears and now I ahve to get to bed to make church on time but I feel like I haven't done enough and that if I go to bed now I'll miss the climax and finish of the football game. Lord please help me. Coming from under the big huge pile of things to do. - Ferris
OKay well after that long impassioned speech aobut how I was so nervous and was worried and not worried at the same time. I just sat there like a bump on a log. I was ready and close to calmed down but when we started disscussion a good spot never opened up and something jsut didn';t feel right about jumping in with it. I mean there was this feel that saying anything right then would be a waste of breath effort and simply make me look stupid rather than open anyones minds. I told my mother and she says that it could've been the Holy Spirit prompting me to wait. Well there may be some truth to that theory because we recieved a writing assignment that is due tuesday where part of the assignment is to pick something on campus that we feel we could be "defender" of. And I think what I'm gonna do is use the idea of defending against this pervasive humanist arguement in the Biology department as my area my defense, my last redoubt, my battlegroud.....What do you think. The other part that seems so perfect aobut this assignment is that we are going to be going around talking about what we picked for our defense and we'll have the floor I can speak without interupption and give myself all sorts of time to speak. Maybe GOd once again answered my prayers in a way that I never would have thought about. Coming from the extremly busy weekend side of the world - Ferris
Well my friends, enemies and those of you who are wondering who the hell I am and what my blog is doing on your computer screen at this hour....I am scared shitless.....I'm giving an "impromptu" defense of Creationism in my creative pluralism and sense of place class. In my last blog I explained the situation. Today I'm going to interuppt before we start the disscussion about the next reading and offer my reasons for finding the theory of evolution and the portrayal of it last class wrong. In doing so I ahve to avoiding hurting anyones feelings, come across as intelligent, come across as not jsut spewing out stupid regurgitated myths or fallacies, and I have to speak loudly and forcefully or else they will sense my fear and eat me alive. I also have the added difficulty of one of the most ardent of the zoology students las time being that cute girl I mentioned several blogs ago who was the daughter of two lawyers. So not only am I afraid of being mocked but I also can be afraid of embarassing myself in front of a cute girl who is becoming a pretty good friend and if I screw up she is most likely to catch me because she's been trained in debate(remember her parents are lawyers). Not to mention the fact that my professor while he tries to be objective is very much on the side of the evolutionists. So for all of you who read my blog and know what I mean please please please please pray for my strength of voice and pray that it is not me who speaks but God witnessing to minds that have been polluted by a system that teaches lies and truth and calls truth, lies, myths and folklore. Lord Jesus give me your strength and give me the words to speak that bring you glory and cut straight to the hearts of all those in my classroom that need to hear your truth. From the nervous side of the peace and strength that pass all understanding - Ferris
:) Well yesterday during my classmates impromptu bashing of creationism to prove how backwards and ignorant the whole of Lubbock and Texas Tech was a mention of a man in Crosbyton who used to be "quite a" something or other (my professor was not speaking clearly) but someitme ago he became radically "converted" for lack of a bettter term and started believing in a literal 7 day Creation, which means that dinosaurs and humans not only had to, but did live with the dinosaurs and he has found several fossilized footprints a dinosaurs footprint and inside and clearly visible a distinctly human print. This has made him a subject of ridicule, but he has a museum in Crosbyton where he spends his time making skeletal replicas of Apatosaurus for museums that can not afford to either purchase or fund expeditions to retrieve the real thing. So today on special assignment from my professor I'm going to take a field trip to Crosbyton and hopefully get to talk to a fellow literal Creationist and see some of his work. God willing I'll come back with some ammunition and maybe a replica dinosaur bone, From the 90% of America side of the evolution debate(wouldn't guess that from the media coverage huh?) - Ferris
